Blog For Free!
Archives
Home
2006 February
2006 January
2005 May
2005 April
2005 March
My Links
Gaiaonline!!!
Cherrys Blog My buddy!!
tBlog
My Profile
Send tMail
My tFriends
My Images
Sponsored
Blog
Daily Tip:
|
| Longer then Intended |
| 02.22.06 (6:15 pm) [edit] |
|
Well I finally got some time on the computer today so I thought I would look through everything Ive been missing. Ive been busy with the job, I lost two people in one week a couple weeks back so I have been busy hiring and what not. Lord is that more work then I thought it would be.
I thought I would update eveyone on my life situation. I am also writing in another blog, just me and the girlfriend, we have one together. Its interesting but in a place that seems rather remote and boring. I havent looked at it much lately. So busy busy busy, theres barely time for rest but I had a GREAT weekend. Cross that out, an AWESOME weekend. I spent all of my weekend with the other half. I splurged on a shopping spree, and entirely new outfit that I actually think I look great in and works well for the club. *sighs* now its back to reality. After Sunday I am still reeling at the after glow of it all.
Saturday is when it started, my car broke down on Wednesday of that week so stressing my love let me borrow her car for Friday Saturday and Monday. Saturday I went back to her house, her parents having left for NC, we had the house to ourselves. She got me a great Valentines day presents...being multiple presents. Two books, an Dictionary/Thesaurus organizer, flowers, a CD, and a huge cookie that she had special ordered that said "My love for you is unconditional." We made dinner together...enjoyed each other for a couple of hours, went shopping and then went out with Nick and Brett. It was a wonderful day/night. I looked great in the outfit I bought that had Brett going...whoa...Rachel..girl...durrr *laughs* and Nick going "That outfit is sooooo cute." (hes a gay boy, so add in accent and girl wave of the hands.) It made me blush, I dont normally receive compliments of quite that magnitude. Not to mention the love of my life, drooling.
We had fun stayed out way to late, and me and cole fell into bed together and passed out. I was tired, Sunday was slow, we had fun though, topping the day off with Rent...the movie musical, which by the way was fantastic. We had a talk as well about various subjects, had mind blowing...enjoyment of each other again. *laughs* it was a great weekend, and even Monday night turned out great, got my car back cause it was fixed, seems a couple of belts were missing. We went to Barnes and Noble, I bought the soundtrack to Memoirs of a Geisha and she bought the soundtrack to RENT. Currently The Tango Maureen is our favorite song.
It was wonderful and I got the computer from my sister, who always seems to be on it. Ive missed a lot. I had about a million posts to go through on the blogs I look at on here. Left a comment for Heidi so she knows I havent died. Its just been so busy lately. The managers position is going well, as expected, Im still learning and I have to say Im not quite where I want to be yet. But there is excited talk about Coles upcoming graduation, and shes applying to a job in North Carolina..is it possible I could be leaving this tiny town in poe dunk Ohio? Its a weird thought really. This area has been my life for so long, this is where ALL of my family is. Who knows, best not to count the chicks before they are hatched.
Well thats an update, see all you laters!
|
|
|
| |
| The End of One Month and Six Days.... |
| 01.28.06 (5:19 pm) [edit] |
|
Yes I have finally got 'some' and if you dont know what some is, I am not going to tell you. It sad that I actually know how long it has been since I got some...but on the up side I have discovered something about my body that I didnt know before..a topic we will leave for another day.
So about today. I will be leaving here shortly to get Ally cat, for her band thing at her school in Rittman. I miss that tiny little town, after spending two years there, it was sort of like second home. I hated leaving Ally behind, shes sort of my adopted daughter..sister, what not. I have missed her and will enjoy being around her for a little while tonight. Cole is coming with me, itll be a nice little outing and then what we will do I have no idea. I have tomorrow off as well, I had today off, it was great.
I am tired now though and have to be off, gotta stop at the old stomping ground before I head off. Been forgetting to drop something off there for awhile. That is life though. It feels great no more one month and six days.
Laters
|
|
|
| |
| Smells, and interesting harmony. |
| 01.26.06 (5:52 pm) [edit] |
|
Thank goodness to. Ive been sick for a few days, a run of the mill cold but finally food has a taste and I can smell again as well. Which brought me an interesting discovery. I love smells..not the gross kinds of course but the everyday ones that fill my memory with different things. Like the smell that Cole carries with her everywhere. I have been unable to place its origin, but its signifigantly warm, it would remind you of cookies your mom is baking in the kitchen, but still has the delicious smell long after their cool, I think most of us females have. I have missed that, plus its the detergent her mother uses. Its wonderful and I have missed it. I missed the smell of french fries as well...hahaha, I do like french fries its a horrid obsession, and one I wish I could break but since I was young potatoes have always been a weakness. I remember sitting in my grandmas kitchen watching her prepare a home cooked meal for at least eight people...that in itself is a thing of the past for me. In my house a home cooked meal is hard to come by. We are more about things from boxes..or fast foods, whatevers quick, easy and requires no effort. Something I vow to bring back to life when I have a place of my own.
Cole and I have been doing personality tests, not the online ones..though we have done quite a few of those, but a test from a book called, Kokology. Its interesting and fun, Im not learning much about myself that I didnt already know or have been aware of. She hasnt done any of the tests, its been mostly about me. Im the one that has more in her past though, more stories to tell. Which actually brings me back to topic...
What is your earliest childhood memory, why do you treasure it?
My earliest memory would have to be of the trailer park where I grew up. I was not pleased when once I read in a book that most trailer residing people are called trailer trash..a not so fond consideration. But yes until about the age of eight I lived in a trailer park called Sunset Park. It was actually a lot of fun and really pretty there. My earliest memory is sledding on the hill that I believe gave the park its name. The hill was big enough to sled on and also one that in the winter when snow melted and froze over it became a little pond for us kids to skate on in our tennis shoes. I had a lot of friends, in and around the trailer park. My best friend until about the fourth grade lived only a few trailers from my own. This hill and the excitement it brought to our little place is my favorite memory. But this park of sorts also holds awful and dark memories of a marriage gone wrong, and a death of a family pet, which haunted me for years. Its funny what we remember and what we cherish. My memory has been opening a lot more lately, since the day I met Cole its like my world became more real, and yet more bearable all at the same time. I still drive past that little park where I spent my younger years and I almost cry with the pain of loss, and the pain of the memories. My heart yearns to one day go back through and go over that familiar stomping ground, where I spent some of the best years in my memory. I wonder what would happen if I walked through the woods we built a tree house in? I wonder what it would be like to once more skate that frozen pond in my tennis shoes, and climb that tree on top of the hill? Something Ill have to do again, just once more before I leave here.
I have actually been considering writing again, something that I have not done for quite sometime. Cole really is an inspiration to me, my muse, ever inspiring me to do something great and be something great. What is love, if it is not something we give each other? Her love has made it possible for me to be me in all basic of terms. The courage to be unafraid of what people might think, if I were me for one second. Again she is my inspiration.
Sorry I really felt like getting out that memory, and for as much as I love my dearest one, she hasnt been in much of a serious mood tonight. Which leaves me to write out my feelings in a virtual world. Ah well, I dont mind it too much.
So share your opinions what are your fondest childhood memories? Join me on my journey for self discovery....
|
|
|
| |
| Clubbing Tomorrow |
| 01.21.06 (1:29 am) [edit] |
|
Mreh...my general attitude right now. Just got off work a little while ago. Discovered Im going clubbing tomorrow night. Which is cool. I need a couple of drinks honestly. They help me unwind and relax. Man am I tired though, will most likely hit the hay after this post. Talked to my love tonight, as I do every night, its a habit. Shes letting me borrow her car tomorrow to drive to work because the temps on my car expired today..which the BMV should have told me that they expire in 29 days instead of 30, bastards...what a rip. I wish I could complain to someone...as if they would listen. So shes coming here to get me tomorrow morning, she only lives like two minutes away. I think its sweet of her to do considering she doesnt have to. Well I should move along to bed, I have to get up early tomrrow, for work. Need enough sleep to dance the night away. Talk to you all laters!!
|
|
|
| |
| Oh Im Tired... |
| 01.20.06 (12:52 am) [edit] |
|
*blinks at the computer tiredly*
I should soo go to bed. But Im not I decided a post in my blog would be better. After browsing Tblogs new features I really do like them, some things are easier to find. Although now I cant find my bookmarked blogs, which stinks. But ah well.
So what should be the subject of this blog tonight? I dont know, I had to work, not much interesting happened. Got in an argument with the other half. But thats all straightened out. Now Im just tired...I want to watch that OC DVD I brought home and I also decided to try and watch Desperate Housewives..I hear a lot of good things about it. I need to make myself a list of all the movies I want to watch.
Oh all the to dos on my list.......*head spins* well maybe bed isnt a bad idea...lol. See you all laters.
|
|
|
| |
| Dude...So BUSY |
| 01.19.06 (12:50 pm) [edit] |
|
Yep yep, thats what my life has been like. I dont get a moment to write in my blog, so Ive sort of taken to writing in a notebook as a substitution when I cant steal the computer. Sisters....bleh. Anyway, Ive had interesting yet probably bland things happening lately.
Went bowling with my sister and his friends which wasnt as bad as I thought it was going to be...though I discovered one thing..I so totally suck at bowling..*laughs* Ah well, its one of things you actually have to practice to be good at. So anyway, it wasnt bad, her friends arent the greatest though...quite a few boys that think they are thugs...white thugs...0.o weird? Definitely yes. They were pretty cool though. It was the one guy and the one girl that really made me want to rip off their heads and use those as bowling balls instead.
In other news, the DM visited my store, I introduced him to it and by the time I had finished he did not have much to add on the fact of all the things I want to start doing which was cool. I got the sense he thought I might know what I am doing. Which is exactly what I was worried he wouldnt think.
My love starts another semester at college. *sighs* shes graduating this year. Im jealous and happy for her, shes at least accomplishing something right? But with that graduation comes a big change. We have been discussing the matter of her major which seems to be very rare in the state of Ohio, so I suppose we will be moving out of Ohio. I have very mixed opinions on this. My company is just about everywhere, so I am not too worried about relocating...but a new life..somewhere else, away from my family and all the things Ive known all my life? It will be a huge change though I am alright with change, it frightens me. But thats normal right? We have no idea what to do for Valentines Day this year but we are banking on a nice date night. Dinner at a nice and expensive restaurant..*laughs* and then maybe a movie...though it would be so much more fun if we could go to like a winter carnival or...somewhere that has ice sculptures and what not...sappy romantic that I am...
We went and saw Last Holiday, last night. The new one with Queen Latifah in it and I really liked it. But I like 90% of all the movies shes in. I have my favorite actors and actresses though I wont admit it. Meh, it was a good movie romantic comedy some of the best movies are romantic comedies. Romantic movies always put me in the mood to...no I didnt get any *laughs* I could have though...on that nore, on to the next paragraph.
I gotta work today and this means going and getting ready which sucks...I gotta put gas in my car. I wrote you an email back Heidi!! Firstmerit has still NOT made my online banking thing, which is aggravating. Im thinking about switching to another bank. What does everyone think? I like the new blog features to, changed the template, I like blue better..though I wish there had been a purple one. Welp, I gotta get going, see everyone around!!
|
|
|
| |
| In the middle of... |
| 01.11.06 (2:20 pm) [edit] |
Take your pick...depends on what in the world I am working on at the moment. *laughs* [b]A special note for Heidi, I make my two week schedule, so let me know what day you have off and Ill drive out there and see you!![/b] I have a car now..I think I forgot to mention that somewhere in my blog entries. Daddy and my step mom gave me their old 1993 Plymouth Colt, its not a bad little car though I will admit its quite worn on the inside and outside, but I plan to either get another car when I have saved up or fix this one up. Its an old car though, lots of miles and what not. I am so not great with cars and definitely need to learn more about them.
So anyway, on to other subjects I have about half a dozen things sitting here in front of me to be done. I should be working on them instead of writing in my blog but I am...*frowns* Im still a procrastinator. I cleaned my office at work though, and its looking a lot better, there are still coverboxes everywhere. I think I will do well at being a manager once I get all the steps right. Its shaping up and I can see the store becoming so much better then it was. I have already designed two of my own binders for my employees to let them know all the things they need to know. Theres the New Hire one and the Annnouncements, that will have Metrics related material along with section list and what to do in them. Im actually proud..sometimes I think I am a little to organized. My employees seem to appreciate organization though so I guess I cant complain to much.
Well away from work topics, me and cole finally worked out the problem. It was difficult and for a few minutes there I thought I was going to lose my relationship..but you know I learned something new. She would let me go if it was going to make me happy..weird huh? I couldnt do that...Im too selfish. *laughs* She has been hanging out with Carl and his new girlfriend *shudder* Ive made a definite decision to never hang around him, or that girl. They are both weird and the girl apparently doesnt like me already. I hate people like that. Ah well, I rarely have time for friend interactions anyway. I do miss hanging out with though and having another girl to talk to. A real girl...not my girlfriend she is WAY too much like a guy. She has her good points, but most of the time, you wont find her giggling and talking about shopping and stuff like that. She would rather talk your ear off about video games and cmputer stuff.
I NEED a real girl like friend to talk and hang out with...bleh. Ah well, anyways, my favorite word is anyway for anyone who would like to know. Things at home have been going pretty well, I think my step dad and I are actually getting along? Can you believe that? Me and my mom talk to each other to...not saying we dont on a regular basis, but Im opening up to her. I just hope that doesnt turn out to be a huge mistake.
So that concludes this post for now, I am hanging out with Cole tonight, a preordained thing...her mother invited me to dinner..as per usual Wednesday ritual..*laughs* we will indoubtedly end up playing WarCraft..not a bad game, I actually like it quite a bit.
Well later everyone...
|
|
|
| |
| Poo... |
| 01.07.06 (10:44 pm) [edit] |
Not literally of course, today has been a more emotional day. I had a great night at work last night though, Monty, Brock and Kristina were trying to convince me to get a piercing in my nose, they said it was cute, dont tell anyone but I actually thought about it. I thought about it because, they kind of have a point it would probably look really cute. Something small and shiny, just a stud...I dont know maybe Ill think about it some more. If anyone with a nose piercing reads this leave me some comments on how it is.
Well on to other subjects, today was a good day at work as well, not as eventful and little tiring, I hung out with my mom all evening, we had talks about stuff, drudged up some past history and reminded me of something I would rather forget about, cause nothing will ever come out of it. Sometimes though, I wish I had noticed things would be different now. So how does everyone like the new colors? I wasnt sure, still arent, I kind of wanted to create something neater then that..Im thinking about becoming a member of TBlog permanently so I can create better backgrounds and stuff.
Im just rambling, Im surprised I even got to get this in, my sister never leaves the computer if she can help it, you need to literally drag her off of it. *laughs* Im a little tired tonight so theres not going to be much point to this post. I have a busy day tomorrow as well. Gotta pick up movies from Rittman, gotta most likely take them to where I work, meh. Then come back, or see my dad before I even start doing that, I want to make it a habit. My dad lives in Rittman where I used to work. So it would probably be more convenient to go there first. Who knows?
Well I think that will be on tonight, if I think of a more meaningful post I lay it out here. See you all soon!!
|
|
|
| |
| Mwah this makes two!! |
| 01.05.06 (10:36 pm) [edit] |
Its been a few days, and how tired I will be by tomorrow. I had my first meeting with my staff and I think that it went well, though some of them like to kid a lot whilst I am talking. I did that at our meetings at my other store so I am trying to be lenient. I just hope they were paying attention. So its been a few longish days for me.
Today was nice though. I used my gift cards to Best Buy and JCPenneys. It was nice..at JCPennys we wont say what I bought..I was made to buy it by my ever insistent girlfriend and best friend..blah. Two of them to be exact and it was not at all fun but I have to say they are comfortable. At Best Buy I bought the soundtracks to Tbe Nightmare Before Christmas and the soundtrack to Princess Diaries, the first one. I love those movies. I cant wait to actually listen to them either, its gonna be cool. I recently for my birthday from my mom got the soundtrack to The Chronicles of Narnia, a awesome CD, and movie as well, I recommend them, unless you dont like songs without words. Then it would be a waste of money and time. I listen to it a lot. I love a lot of music so its hard for me to pick and choose what I buy, I spent quite a few minutes looking at the selection of CDs.
I just want to say, that in the newest development in my life, my girlfriends parents bought me the Best Buy giftcard. It was sweet and I am taking it as a sign that they might actually kind of like me. Which works out well. We will get to all those juicy details at another time though. I have big news yet to announce, but it can wait. So I spent my evening with my girlfriend and my best friend Brett whom I dont get to see a whole lot, conflicting schedules and the like. I spend a lot of time with my girlfriend, rarely venturing much farther outside those circles. I dont really have time for all of my friends. Which I stated in the post below.
Meh life is funny, it all heaps itself on you in one rush. I got a promotion which was huge for me. I have done a bit of growing up, maturing, and becoming a better person for it most of the time. Right after that, and this is the big part, Cole, my girlfriend, told me she is going to buy my engagement ring soon!! We have discussed living together and things like that, and we knew that this was to come next but its exciting, for a girl its kind of symbolic you know, a ring that symbolizes a honor from the heart, you promise to keep till the day you die. Its beautiful, Im a nut, I have the wedding vows on a little card I bought in my wallet. Im artistic remember? Poetry and words of beauty have a deep meaning for me. I used to write poetry, but I rarely get the chance to anymore.
Marriage...what an odd thing, Im sure you are thinking considering my girlfriend and I cant actually legally get married in Ohio, yes thats where I live. I live south of Cleveland, in a small town and have lived here most of my life. Its home most of the time, not that it will always be so. But no, we cant get married legally a sad thing, but what is marriage but a promise of the heart? Its not a piece of paper, its not rights given to us by a screwed up society. Love, real, pure and true to the depths of your very soul, sounds corny I know, but love..like ours, is rare to find and even harder to keep. So I am a spoken for girl. *smiles contently*
Its nice to be honest with my blog for once, no hiding, other then small details about me that dont need to be shared. I say whatever is on my mind and its enough. If you know me, sometimes..that simple thing can be the hardest thing for me. I forgot to mention, I love talking to new people so dont be afraid to leave a comment or, email me sometime. Starchaser182000@yahoo.com. I love meeting new people, a lot of the time.
Well thats another day, I hope you enjoyed your visit, come back soon!!
|
|
|
| |
| A New Beginning! |
| 01.01.06 (2:58 pm) [edit] |
Yes, its a new year, so I have decided its going to be a new me...well better me. *laughs* I am going to try and do my best to write in here at least once a week. I am very busy anymore and dont really have much time to do anything.
With this new change came a new job. I am a manager now, a higher position then my one at the video store before. I now manage my own store, where I will not say such personal information should not be shared online in case creepy people want to stalk you. I like my job as manager, it has given me a sense of fulfillment and I feel I am finally equal with that of my sister, and the others around me doing more then I ever dreamed of. I am now one of those masses of people. It brings me happiness.
I have a girlfriend. Yes..I am a lesbian. You have no idea how long it took me to become comfortable with that word alone. I was not raised to think that a relationship of that manner was alright. I became this way by accident because a beautiful soul came my way and captured my heart. I love my girlfriend for who she is and not the fact that she is another woman. We have been together for just a little over five years, we were friends for a year before it happened. Five years...a long time for someone my age. I am 22 years old as of Decemeber 22nd. She is 21, only seven months younger then me. We are a pair, a team and deeply in love with each other.
That fact stated, I have made no resolutions for the new year, but goals instead. Things I want to reach before 2006 has ended. One would be to continue my education in business. Another, would be to straighten out the crazy life I am living right now. I am busy busy busy all the time and I apologize to those of you who know me. I have no time for even my family and girlfriend, and all relationships are suffering a little right now. But know you are in my thoughts and prayers, and I still love you fondly. Namely, Heidi and Mike. I dont think anyone else is aware of this. Anyway, I also want to tell my family about my girlfriend and I. They dont know. A burden that does bother me, but sometimes it just seems easier that they are not aware of my relationship. I am hoping they will understand, at least someday. Moving on, to get my store in shape and the employees educated to the best of their ability. They need a lot of training. To remember my past but to forgive all of it. To move out of the house, cause I can afford it now. There are a lot of things on this list.
So we will stop that list there. There are a lot of things to do in 2006 and a lot of the time I feel like I have no time. So, heres to a better year.
Now we can talk about today. I had to get that out, I have had this strange urge to write lately, a blog entry a mini story something. I am an artist. Not the kind that draws, not the kind who paints, but the kind that writes. I am an aspiring author as well as so many other things. I love music, I love singing, and I love life in general. I am happy most days, silly, wacky and joking 90% of the time. This is a trait I value and not something I run into with other people. I like to think of myself as unique, different, and above all, kind and fun. My goal for this blog is to be as honest as possible. I usually sugar coat things, it gets me nowhere most of the time, so maybe if I speak what I am thinking, Ill have a better chance of being able to say it.
First example. I have noticed a change about myself. I am becoming more authorative and I blame this on my job. I am in charge there, and sometimes it leaks into everyday life. I have no control over this. But I also feel a positive change in that I am more confident then normal, sure of my steps. my steps have brought me here you see, so I should be able to know that Ill be fine with my decisions. I trust myself, I know myself well enough to know, I can handle this. But my change, is bringing some harm to the relationship I treasure above all others, my girlfriend and I. I keep imagining what is going to happen if I can not control myself. This is what I mean, I get irriatated faster because my job has me a bit strung out, Im a little shorter with her then normal, its not me you know. Problem is I have explained this to her, I need her to be supportive as I try and stop this nasty little habit of being cranky. I have been unable to explain the fact I am changing to her. I feel the change but she doesnt see it. I have become better, and weaker all at the same time, but I know once I get it straightened out it will be great. For both of us really, I usually have such a problem with self esteem, and it hasnt been a problem at all lately. Im not thinking about the fact that I am 5'4 and probably a little over weight..I dont know whether to attribute this to my enormous bosoms...or the fact I might be a little chubby. *laughs* I have no time to worry about weight though, I have a million other things to think about.
Id like to talk about a small and funny development as well. Heidis ex boyfriend..talks to me. Sometimes, only on the computer, and its not been often. The other day will only have been the second time, but hes actually not bad. I kind of liked talking to him, it was weird though cause I dont normally spill details about life to people I have met like one time? Saw him a couple of times at my old video store, but...*shrugs* hes actually pretty cool. He seems happier though since his last ex girlfriend, and I am happy for him. Catherine..thats her name is his new girlfriend, someone else Ive met one time but who seemed like a very nice girl, funny even. Ill probably talk to him again.
Well I think that will be all for today. I have to go for now unfortunately enough. But hopefully Ill be able to get on here sooner. Note to self, change colors on this thing...*laughs* See you soon and have a great new year!!
|
|
|
| |
| So long... |
| 05.26.05 (11:48 pm) [edit] |
Its been awhile since I have actually put in a post. Life seems to travel at the speed of light sometimes. Blah Ill have to think of something to put here, Im gonna revamp it entirely because I want the colors to be lighter. Its summer after all!!!
Lee
|
|
|
| |
| Tell Me A Story..... |
| 04.20.05 (1:20 pm) [edit] |
That one sentence is said to me, by more then one person, and I have to say its stunning when they ask me this. I have been wondering lately why they ask me this. It does not make a lot of sense to me, I dont value myself as a story teller. Hmmm, I dont know, I just wonder at it, and I wonder at the way my love looks at me, and asks me to tell her how I feel about certain days and times that we are together.
Which Im going to have to recall later, *laughs* I gotta get ready soon for work. Blah work...
Lee
|
|
|
| |
| Neat Piccies |
| 04.01.05 (12:53 am) [edit] |
|
|
|
| |
|
|
